Life

Forward always, Always forward

forward-always-always-forward

By now, some of you may have realised that this little duck has relocated – again.

Just at the start of the year, I shared a video called ‘Life Update’ and filled you all in about my new role after finishing my course at TACB, and starting a new little life with my boyfriend in Sydney.

The thing about life is, things are always changing. I could update you every week about the new paths and directions the world is throwing at me. But this time it’s been a little more dramatic and some explanation is needed. The scene should be set more clearly for this new era of The Beauty List.

Sometimes it’s a combination of factors that lead us to where we need to be and in the last few months Beau and I have noticed more than our fair share of signs that it was time for us to return home to Victoria. Some are a bit shitty (some family members have been unwell and we felt isolated and unable to be with them) and some are exciting (the family is growing and we just can’t wait to be close to everyone again!)

So here’s our new update – our path, as it stands at the moment, if you will!

The three of us – myself, Beau and Frankie-cat – have just this week packed up our beautiful little home south of Sydney and made the trek back to Central Victoria.

I will be continuing to write for the Australasian College Broadway, who have become much like a second family to me and will always remain some of my fave people in Sydney. The other half of my time will be split between here on TBL and continuing on in makeup at Estee Lauder. I feel so, so ready to get started with this new chapter and get stuck into it all. These are all paths that I truly love and want to be doing.

That’s not to say what I’m leaving behind isn’t weighing heavy. I’ve spoken before about the leap of faith I took in moving to Sydney in the first place. I discovered more than just a career path in the (close to) two years that I lived there. I learnt what I’m most passionate about; I learnt the line between challenging myself and pushing myself too far. I had so many pinch me moments where I looked up and realised what I was doing was insane. All along I knew that I was doing things I wouldn’t have dreamt up just six months before.

I’m proud of the life I created in Sydney; from working in makeup in Bondi to writing for the college in Glebe. From the time I took my first solo walk along Bondi to Coogee to forcing myself to be brave enough to navigate myself around Sydney on public transport. I loved my home that Beau and I made; it was something we created away from everything and everyone we knew. I’m proud that we did it; that we can say we’ve gone off and had an adventure somewhere.

That’s not to say it was easy. For one thing, Sydney is bloody expensive. Affording to live, to pay rent at the very least, is absolutely insane. Add to that the competitive job market and there was a good period of time where we found ourselves living off one wage and digging into the little savings some 22 year olds can have.

But, again, we did it. And I’m damn happy to be able to say that.

I also met some amazing people who have inspired me and who have instilled more of a sense of who I am since knowing them. For those of you reading this, you know who you are. Thank you for helping me come out of my shell and letting me know that what I can do is worthwhile and that I’m not too bad at it.

So it was through some tears that I set off yesterday watching, quite literally, the Sydney skyline shrink and disappear behind me.

I am ready for new things, fresh and exciting things. I’m also ready to embrace what I know and love again, to be around the familiar now that I’ve experienced the unknown.

I never want to know complacency and boredom; I only want to follow what makes my heart sing and my words spill out of my mouth together with excitement. I want to afford the things that make me happy (makeup, food and travel – sometimes alternating in order!) I want to breathe deeply and easily and forget what it feels like to have a knot in my chest. And I want to build a life that gets me closer to all of that.

Who knows what my update will be in six months or twelve months time?

I’ve been watching Luke Cage on Netflix recently and, in an early episode, stood out to me: ‘Forward always, always forward’ and while I’m not on my deathbed delivering some worldly wisdom, I want to share those words with you as well.

Life is always changing, change is good. You should always be looking forward and making plans and allowing them to change if and when you change as well.

Forward always, always forward my little gem.

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Rachel Hodgens

2 Comments

  1. Jessica hoDgens

    Love this post and So proud of you rachy!

    15 . 11 . 2016
    • Rachel Hodgens

      Thank you! So much of it is down to your love and support! X

      15 . 11 . 2016

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